Forgiveness

 To forgive, is not to forget.

To forgive, is really to remember
That nobody is perfect
That each of us stumbles
When we want so much to stay upright.

That each of us says things
We wish we had never said
That we can all forget that love
Is more important than being right.

To forgive is really to remember
That we are so much more than our mistakes.
That we are often more kind and caring
That accepting another's flaws
Can help us to accept our own.

To forgive is to remember
That the odds are pretty good
That we might soon need to be forgiven ourselves.
That life sometimes gives us more
Than we can handle gracefully.

To forgive is to remember
That we have room in our hearts
To begin again....

And again....

And again. And again.

I was thinking about forgiveness today and I remembered that I had copied this poem about forgiveness in one of my journals back in college. We all go through different experiences in life often with the people closest to us that make it very hard to forgive them sometimes. I have had many times in my life where significant things have happened where I thought I would not be able to forgive the person involved. I have realized how much healthier it is to forgive them and move on with your life. I'm not just talking about romantic relationships; I'm talking about relationships with family and with friends also.

One of my closest family members and I have had a complicated relationship; we're very different people on very different paths in life, and that hasn't always been easy. While I don't agree with some of (ok many of) the choices he has made, as I've become an adult I've learned to accept him for who he is and our relationship has grown to be stronger. We still don't have contact as often as we should, but I love him, and I know that he loves me and that is what is important, even when we don't see eye to eye.

I know people who hold on to grudges and a dislike of people for years and years, some in my very close family, and I can't understand that. Life is too short to be unhappy and to waste time in disliking someone or holding a grudge. I encourage everyone to try to forgive people in your life who you may feel have "done you wrong" and to move on and be happy in your own life. Whether you mend the relationship that is broken, or just find forgiveness and peace in your own heart, you are sure to feel better. From my own experiences, I think it's a much healthier way to live.